


Things.  Happening.

by Pojo



Category: Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-22
Updated: 2014-10-22
Packaged: 2018-02-22 03:50:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2493344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pojo/pseuds/Pojo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Attempt at an AU prompt from Yuletide 2013</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things.  Happening.

She sat cross-legged on the laundromat counter, playing with a cup of yogurt and contemplating her bizarrely fairy tale life. The TV in the corner was playing her face right now, some opinion piece about Captain Hammer’s new girlfriend and her housing project for the impoverished. It was more the former than the latter, really, but she wasn’t paying attention. She was focused on her own problems, waiting for a friend to talk to.

The bell on the laundromat door rang, and the villain entered stage right, dressed in hoodie and jeans. His normal villain attire - a white, starchy lab coat with a caduceus logo that declared, amongst other things, a PhD in horribleness - was hidden in the hamper under his arm, tucked in between layers of other casual wear. The coat was vibrating slightly, and if one were to press an ear to it, a tinny sound could be heard in something relatively close to the tune of the 1812 Overture. He strode into the laundromat with the determination and stance of a man who would not be messed with, who was willing to do dastardly deeds and never look back.

“Billy!” the girl said, from behind him.

Billy swiveled, all of his presence and poise evaporating instantly into startled awkwardness. His mouth opened and closed and sounds came out that were not, strictly speaking, language. but would probably end up there soon if given a chance.

 

“Penny! You’re… here. Oh... oh right, it's... Saturday.” 

“Right!” Penny said brightly. “I didn't skip today.”

“That's – good!” Billy responded, suddenly quite certain that it was. “I wouldn't be here myself, except there was this freak explosion and I spilled this Wonderflooaahhhii food, spilled some food on my work...person...clothes. Baking, I was baking.”

“Well, I'm glad you came by. I brought frozen yogurt; I thought I'd pay you back for the last two times.”

“Really? That’s… that’s nice, yeah. Um, give me a second?”

“Oh, of course!”

Billy turned and hurriedly dropped the basket on top of a nearby washer. It bounced. Immediately the humming ceased, and the sound of cracking ice echoed through the laundromat as the hoodie on the top of the basket frosted over. The bottom of the basket sizzled, glowing red as it melted into the washer top. Noting both developments carefully, Billy turned.

“Distraction, hey!” he said, loudly, and smiled widely at Penny. “Is that one for me?” He crossed around to her other side, pointing and gesturing wildly at the yogurt in an entirely successful attempt to distract.

“Um, yes? Careful with the spork.” 

“Great, great! I laov yogur.” he said, scooping up a giant bite and sucking it down abruptly. “Ow. Oh.“ He put his hand on his head, squinting. “Owwwww.” 

She laughed. “Brainfreeze?”

“Brainfreeze. Sorry, I am just… not on top of things today.”

“Yes, I can see why your baking exploded. What were you making?”

“Oh, you know.” Billy said, dipping his spork back into the yogurt. “How are you?”

“I’m, uh, good?” Penny said, trying to take the constant conversation changes in stride. “Uh, yes, good! I spent today at the new shelter, setting up for the big opening. Captain Hammer is going to be speaking.”

“Oh really?” Billy said, attempting to feign surprise. “I think I remember the last time he did that. It was, uh… monosyllabic.”

“Yes, well, I think you’ll be surprised! ...I might be helping a little.”

“So things are going pretty well with you two?”

“Yes! Really, really well, actually. Um, he gave me this?” Penny reached into her bag and pulled out a small, plain claw hammer and presented it, looking a little embarrassed.

“Is that... huh.” Billy said, his face wrinkling. “But why would he -”

There was a loud WHAP noise, and the plexiglass windows of the laundromat shuddered. Both of them turned and looked at the source of the commotion – a man and two women in plain t-shirts with pictures of Captain Hammer on them, pressed hungrily up against the glass with palms spread. 

Averting their gazes, Billy and Penny scooted further inward towards the center of the laundry.

“Don’t, uh… don’t look at them. I've been seeing those faces everywhere lately. They're... not very nice.” Penny said. “But, um, what were you saying about the hammer?” 

“What?” Billy said, looking up and then down again. “Oh, it's nothing.”

“No, really.”

 

“Really, it's nothing.”

“Are you sure?”

“Well, I mean, it's just weird, that's all. I mean, I'm pretty sure the hammer is his... well, you know.”

“Billy!” Penny said, dropping the hammer on the counter like it had scalded her hand. “I mean... yes, he does call it that, but... it can stand for many things!”

“Chief among them being...” Billy said, laughing. The bell on the laundromat door rang, and a crouching figure in pigtails entered, creeping behind the washers. The two remaining fans backed off from the window, whistling innocuously.

“He was being nice! He said it was a gift from the mayor.”

“It's still got a price tag on the bottom.”

 

“Oh!” She tore the sticker off, looking at it dourly. Suddenly she giggled. “$8.95.”

“Ah ha ha ha!”

“Hey, it's the thought that counts, right?” she said, punching him lightly on the shoulder. “I'm sure the mayor just got it from a hardware store somewhere!”

“You are way too nice, you know that?” Billy said, meeting her eyes.

“How did you even know he called it – well, you know?” She blushed again. 

 

“He mentioned it just before you two left. How do you – oh.”

The room fell silent for a moment. 

In the quiet, a hand snaked up from under the counter and grabbed the hammer before vanishing the way it came. Outside, the two fans who had been pressed up against the windows turned to each other excitedly, hugging. The bell on the laundromat door rang, and the third fangirl joined them as they ran down the street with their prize.

Penny spoke, softly. “Billy...”

“No no,” said Billy, stretching his mouth into an approximation of a smile. “it's fine. I mean, I figured as much. I mean, I didn't figure as much, he just said – er, I saw how happy you were together, I didn't mean to imply... I want to be happy you're happy.”

“But you're not.”

 

“Give me a minute. No, really.”

They finished their yogurt.

Penny looked up. “Billy, are we… are we friends?”

 

“...No. “ Billy said, so quiet she could scarcely hear. “Maybe, with time. But…

He stood up. “Just my luck, really. I finally get a chance to talk to you and - there it is. I guess things happen.”

“Billy…”

“No, no, you’re right on this one. It’s just… Do you ever think that… these last few days - maybe things might have happened differently? If things had gone a different way?”

“I think if things had gone a different way, we might never have talked. Or I’d be dead.”

“Yeah, I somehow doubt that.” Billy said. “I’m not… it’s not me, is it?”

“No, it’s not. You’re sweet. If things hadn’t…” she squirmed. “Things do happen.”

“I’m not everything you see here, you know. If you… god, this sounded so much better in my head - if you ever wanted to, there’s a… whole other layer to me and I think… I think you’ll be surprised.”

Penny smiled. “But then maybe there’s another layer underneath that, that’s the same nice, loving, kind person I like?”

“What?”

“Like pie.”

Billy laughed. “You know what? Maybe.” His face hardened. “...I’ve gotta get back. I’ve got something to do tomorrow night, I’ve gotta get ready for it. ” He crawled off the countertop, stretching out his legs.

“Are you going to be back here?” 

“Probably not. But if you ever change your mind - well, when things happen. I’ll be there.”

“Don’t… I don’t want you to wait for me, Billy. Live your life.”

“Oh, I’m not waiting.” he said, carefully picking up the laundry basket. “I’m making a change. I’m going out and I’m seizing my destiny. I’m going to get the things I want. All of them.”

“Really?”

“Believe it.” he said. 

 

“Good.” she said, cautiously. “I’m… I’m glad for you.” 

He moved for the door.

“Billy?” 

He turned. “Yes?”

“What if this - this conversation, right here - what if this was the thing that was supposed to happen?” Penny said. “Maybe now things can change.” she smiled, forehead creased, eyes wide. “For the better.”

Billy paused, basket under his arm. He turned and looked at her, expressionless. Then he smiled back. 

“I like your hair.”

The bell on the laundromat door rang, and he was gone.


End file.
